ON LEVEL THREE
If any 3rd level wizards are present when the room is opened, the golem will offer the wizard(s), in writing, a chance for a 1/3 share in the partnership in exchange for undertaking various tasks related to the new business. These will be dangerous, but the golem is honest.
If any 3rd level clerics are present when the room is opened, then the tall, skinny blonde one will flirt with them (regardless of gender). She will eventually become hopelessy infatuated with the cleric(s) bringing them fried chicken on their birthday and writing them long letters about how they used to wish they could be a cleric but they eventually realized it was a meaningless title and was happy just being a wooden nun but is still really impressed with the cleric(s). She'll be really possessive, want the cleric to move in as soon as possible, and constantly write about how she wants to have her face re-carved when she gets older.
Three of Coins Room--The mannequins in this painstakingly crafted tableau will not move while observed. However, if left alone with any object, they will go to work improving it. Any nonliving thing left in their presence will be heartily pimped when the owner returns.
If any third level thieves enter the room, they golems draw for them a map of a nearby raggedy object in the care of a hostile sentient being. If stolen, left in the care of the golems, and improved, the object will then be worth twice the original value. They will otherwise behave as normal.
Other than the demons, only third-level fighters possess the mix of skill, caution, and humility to be able to wield the swords, and in their hands they will inflict wounds that can never heal once every three days. Anyone else who attempts to fight with them will fumble and hurt themselves.
In addition, any immature living thing--animal, vegetable or monstrous--within the room will begin to grow at the the rate of 1 year per minute until it becomes an adult--at which point it will age normally.
If any mother is present, the empress will stand and hand any child so generated to the mother, along with an ivory box containing a deed to a parcel of 3 acres of land within 100 miles, a map to that place, and everything necessary to keep the child fed, tended and clean for one week. So long as the child is tended, the deed will be honored by any intelligent being of lawful alignment. If the mother takes the deed, after one year, the Empress will send a wooden emissary with a scroll asking the mother and/or child to join her army as she retakes her lost empire.
ON LEVEL FOUR
Four of Wands Room--This tableau's major feature is a sacred or celebratory space marked out by four standing staves int he corners. Any creature entering will be compelled (no save) to coexist peacefully and indeed festively with any other creature inside. In addition--no-one standing behind the painted wooden castle in the background can be harmed in any way.
If any fourth-level wizards stand in the space, any beneficial spell they cast will be increased fourfold.
1. What am I even doing here?
GM: "You ask yourself: What am I even doing here?"
PC: "Looking for the silver monkey of Pi Fin Pong"
"It's made of silver"
"Some asshole decided it would be?")
If after any of these questions, the PC responds with "I don't know" or takes more than 4 seconds to answer, they will be compelled to drink from one of the cups. This will result in a nightmarish hangover (-1 to everything) and they will have to go four more "Why"s down the rabbit hole. Again: if they do it wrong they'll have to drink from another cup, get another -1 etc. If they drink all 4 cups they will sleep for an hour. The cups refill immediately.
If any fourth level clerics enter the room they will immediately be compelled to drink all 4 cups and answer the corresponding questions. If they answer each one unhesitatingly and with perfect orthodoxy within their faith's dogma, they will immediately gain enough experience to reach the next level. No one else will have to drink.
Only a fourth level thief can disarm, detect or destroy the mechanism. There is no other way to hurt it and no way to stop the sound (even Silence will not work).
If any fourth-level fighters die in the dungeon, their soulless bodies will arise and crawl here, to join the ranks of the invincible dead.
If any fathers are present when the room is opened, the emperor will cast a Quest spell on them and demand (via scroll) that they bring to him one of his enemies in the dungeon, alive. When the task is done he will give them 4000gp.